Legalize This...The Drug Edition

Okay Crackheads,

This one is for you. Kris The Critic is tired of all the pharmaceutical companies force feeding the country ads on their particular dope. I call these "medications" dope because they ALL only treat symptoms. Rarely does "prescription medication" aka "prescription dope" treat causes...They all have some nasty detrimental side effects on my kidneys, heart, brain and other major organs...Granted, some of these drugs are viewed as small miracles...For example, I am sure Viagra has plenty of limped D#%$ old men thanking the Man or Woman above....(see, I'm only sexist on most days)...

So, is it possible to successfully use the "other" so-called recreational drugs to treat...well...nothing...just to friggin feel good without killing yourself?...NOTE: KRIS THE CRITIC IS AGAINST ILLEGAL DRUG USE - THIS BLOG IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY...there. Now if you go all Heath Ledger on me after reading this blog...It's not on my conscience...

Marijuana - Some good ole weed...For those who want to relax after dealing with the depression...What's the big deal? Don't worry, as soon as the government finds a way to tax that shit, you'll be able to by it by the pound at Walmart....The crime rate in major cities will definitely go down.

Cocaine - Somebody help me. Wasn't this legal at some point? With all these pilots dozing off, it might not be a bad idea to keep a couple of lines in the cockpit. Hell, most employers could realize a spark in productivity by offering a few lines of "work stimulant" after lunch....That's the real Stimulus package!

MDMA - Ecstasy (Is that how you spell it?...) Anyway...This stuff should be given away free along with condoms to our misguided youth. I GUARANTEE you this will stop all that gang war shit. Hell, it might wipe out teen crime entirely. Considering the safety of our youth, isn't it worth discussing?

Phencyclidine (PCP) - What hallucinogen couldn't help with domestic violence? I bet a dollar that Chris Brown wouldn't have beaten the crap out of Rihanna if he thought he was getting a scratch and sniff from his 1st grade teacher instead of being interrogated about a damn text message(Damn, I'm old...DO THEY EVEN MAKE SCRATCH AND SNIFFS ANYMORE?)

Caffeine - Oh yeah, this one has been approved...

OK people, I know I am one sick little puppy for bringing this stuff up...BUT it needs to be discussed. This world is jacked up. Your friend, Kris the Critic, simply seeks solutions. I'm listening...

Kris The Critic