Speak English, Dammit!

Hello Seekers of Kris The Critic,

Today's piece will help educate the masses. People, we have an issue whose importance ranks right up there with health care and education. Unfortunately, it is being largely ignored. No, this blog has absolutely nada to do with my sisters and brothers who live south of the border. Their quest for what's left of the American dream is not only understood, but supported by this scribe. If you have ever been to any small Mexican border town, you'd support a mass exodus as well... Hmmm... that's a blog for another day.

However, this plight rears its ugly head predominantly within the African-American community. Nope - I am not referring to crime, obesity, pregnant teens, single moms, cancer, drugs, diabetes, prison, STD's or high cholesterol... Damn, it's hard being black! ....So, what in sam hill am I talking about? (And no, I know nothing of sam hill; it just felt right write typing it)... I am referring to the inability of a large portion of my people to correctly use the English language. Ahhh... now you smell me. We owe it to future generations to check someone whenever they try and chop up the language into something that should not be considered English. We can't tackle any real issues until we, as a people, can effectively communicate. So, without further adieu, here are some common violations... And don't laugh; you've probably committed a few offenses on the list... And these are in no particular order -

#10 Ask vs. Ax - I don't know why folks like to mispronounce such a tiny word, but it really bugs me... If you hear your child saying, "Can I Ax a question?... Ax it ASAP.

#9 Four vs. Foe - Okay, maybe I have done this once or twice, BUT I am very aware of it... It just sounds funny. "Yo, let me get foe of those"... lol... See what I mean.

#8 Bogus vs. Bogish - I am not lying. Do not ask me where I've been to have witnessed this; but it happens. And the worst part, I don't think most folks know what it means.

#7 Labtop vs. Laptop - I am embarrassed for the race just to admit that I know this happens in the hood. Wow - This ebonic epedemic is worse than I thought.

#6 Converse vs. Coversate - I blame this on the Notorious B.I.G. "Conversate for a few / cause in a few /we gon do / what we came to do" Go ahead and finish the line... Well, boo, conversate does not exist.

#5 I'll use it in a sentence... "You boys stop that wrasslin!"... Somewhere, someone is reading this saying to themselves "What's wrong with that sentence?" - nothing dog, nothing.

#4 Prostate vs. Prostrate - Hey, I'll issue a pass on this one. The importance of getting this organ checked has really been publicized only in recent times. So, however you choose to pronounce it, men should go get it check around age 40.

#3 Hair Done vs. Hair Did - Now, If your hair did some tricks, I stand corrected. However, if you are going to get your hair "did" - just stop it and start practicing getting your hair done. Go ahead; try it. It doesn't hurt.

#2 Stop adding syllables to words when trying to emphasize something. Here's an example - "LeBron James is a great ath-uh-lete". Athlete has two syllables.

#1 It is an oldie, but goodie... The word "teeth" should never be pronounced "teef." Got it? Good.

Again, this is just a small example of of a much bigger problem. It seems trivial, but speaking well can do wonders for a person's life. Hell, just ask that Senator from Chicago.

So, Any one else heard any words that are commonly butchered? What did I leave out?

KRIS THE CRITIC