"The Plan" for Single Women

Welcome Back Truth Seekers,

Most of the time I tend to philosophize on matters that are entertaining, debatable, or outright random. Today, KRIS THE CRITIC a.k.a. The Chicago Scribe is going to channel his inner philanthropist. No, I am not going to give away millions like Bill Gates or Warren Buffet. Why not? Because that's just plain ole dumb. That blog, "Lunacy in America" is for another day. I am actually going to give practical advice to single women who are in search of a meaningful relationship. Wow!, "Chicago Scribe" that has a nice ring to it - I just thought it up. What do you think???...Hmmm...Sorry about that. I sometimes digress when I write while sipping a fine cognac - In moderation of course. Fellas, don't stop reading! Sure, the blog has a chick title....BUT, has KRIS THE CRITIC ever let you down?

Ok ladies, enough of my pre-advice ranting. I am all yours. Unlike other areas of your life, "getting a man" requires a different strategy. Trust me, your past successes in school, work, church, the strip club, or whatever required devising a plan. Plans are good in about 94% +/- .5% of everything you do in life. Not here. I know this because I am a relationship expert. My accolades are written in the diaries of tons of ex-girlfriends. But, I am now happily retired (hi honey). Ok, here is "the plan" to the $50,000 question - "Why so many women are struggling to land Mr. Right?"....THE PLAN TO LANDING MR. RIGHT IS TO HAVE NO PLAN. Seriously, men love planning tons of things. But for a chick we just recently thought about hooking up with - It's like asking Louis Farrakhan if he would like a BLT.

As I have said a thousand times, "Men are simple creatures". Plans scare us. Save that until after you have duped us into marriage...lol. Until then, throw your "gotta have in a man list" out the darn window. Here is a partial list of the "no-plan":

1. Try things you don't normally do - If your normal routine(s) have yielded nothing for the past 10 years, you gotta mix it up. Join a co-ed sports league, take a dance class, join a professional organization or cause. Get off your fat duff and do something different.

2. Check yourself - This means get rid of that previously mentioned list. Following it will keep you single. All it does is find fault in potential mates. Women LOVE to point out why they won't date a man. Too fat, too short, wrong career...his birthday falls on Halloween. It's silly. Most women have a hard time pointing out their own flaws. Am I lying?

3. Get some new friends - I'm not saying lose your regular pals. However, if most of your crew constantly complains about not having a man - for (insert any reason you can think of here) - then you need to be-friend some women who have made the transition to from the single life to wifee. They aren't all just lucky.

4. Stay young - This is in spirit. If you and a potential man are in the "get to know each other stage", keep it light. Don't act so cold. Don't be cruel (shout out to Bobby Brown - the lyrics to that song are on point). As a matter of fact, do the opposite. Act bubbly and naive - slightly dumb on certain topics. We love that.

5. Date some different types of men - Most women (because of their list) usually end up with the same type of losers. Switch it up. I'm not saying go date Shrek...just try giving someone with traits not on your list a little attention. You'd be amazed at what you'll see.

Ok, ladies...and fellas who made it to the end - that's a wrap. Any more advice is going to cost you. Now, get off the computer and find a man. So, is KRIS THE CRITIC's advice on "no plan" the real stuff? or full or stuff?